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“Bad boys” make the best lovers.  The idea of “bad boys” excites girls and women just like “bad girls” excite you.  While you’re thinking of some curvy girl ready to act on her hot carnal desires, your wife has in her imagination some big guy who knows how to dominate a woman way beyond bondage for beginners. 

But if she’s a shy, submissive girl she will not tell you such fantasies just like you’re not going to tell her about the dirty things in YOUR mind during intimate moments together.  To be fair, as a shy and submissive wife she may even hide the detail of her fantasies from herself.  Her parents likely trained her just as you would train your own daughters – be respectable, be quiet, be NICE.  Right?

You wouldn’t want some rough, sexually over-active biker chick as your wife.  And your submissive girl doesn’t want a brute as a husband. 

But you want more sizzle. 

If she could say it out loud, she wants more sizzle too.  And the steak. 

Most men try to get more sex in a two basic ways. 

One way is to simply make demands of your wife.  As you probably know from bitter experience, simply asking for sex is not a way that works with a woman whose sexual training has been one of ignoring her own sexual needs and desires.  She will likely feel pressured and “bad”. 

Another way to try for more sex is to gently suggest and hint.  Sometimes this can be by piling on the romance.  In the man’s mind the romance is like foreplay – you romance her with flowers and dinner and a walk in the moonlight and she gives you a night of good sex.  Of course, for a submissive woman the romance IS as far as she can imagine.  She has been trained long and hard by her parents and society to AVOID thinking about any pulsing between her legs so she likes the romance for its own sake!  You lose.  At other times suggestions and hints can be suggestive touches and comments that would get you going if she did them to you.  But again, if her sexual training has been to suppress her desires she’ll think you’re being a pain in the butt or simply crude. 

But there is another way to get the sex you need:  learn how to train a submissive female. 

The things you can do in training is much the same as you’d train a child or an athlete:  pick your small target, induce her to reach the goal, reward her emotionally and physically.  Then set the bar higher.  When training your submissive wife you’re also training yourself in how to sexually dominate your wife.  Sure there should be some basic beginners bondage.  But these are all the big things that can come later.  Simple truth is that you don’t need to master bondage, domination, sado-masochism, or female slave training to sexually dominate your wife. 

In the short term, what you need to do is to find ways of getting your submissive wife to express her desires to you without having to say them in words.  Then you can take her step by step towards living out her unstated fantasies.  Each of these is the small steps you need to give her and the excitement she’ll get from living out those unstated fantasies will be a big reward each time. 

When you have sex with your wife in the so-called “missionary position” (her on her back and you on top), how often does she place her hands above her head?  Placing her hands there is not to keep them out of the way.  She’s got a fantasy in her mind of being controlled – perhaps wrists held by the man taking her, or maybe her hands are tied up so that she can’t resist.  If you were wanting to explore bondage for beginners that would be a good way to start – a silk scarf or even a dressing gown belt – no fancy knots, just something wound around her wrists (not too tight to scare her!) and watch the expression on her face and feel the sudden surge of her excitement! 

Just do that and you’ve taken your first step to being her “fantasy Brute” who can fill her nights with the passion and desire she secretly craves.

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